For some people, "no" is the hardest word they'll ever say. They will rather go the extra mile to get it done than to say no to the request.
It gets worst if the person asking is an ungrateful friend, family, colleague, or an ungrateful boss. You know these people. In fact, you have their faces in your head as you read this article. I know this because I have a few of them.
Telling someone no can create a tense social situation and we all want to be seen as a nice person. Right?
It is not bad to help out when asked to help friends and families when they needed something or services you can provide. The problem arises when you say yes to almost everything.
So the question becomes, how do you learn to say no?
Stop Giving Them The Power
You have total control of your life, your time and what you choose to do with it depends on you.
Never saying "no" or presenting yourself as someone who is less busy, someone who is ready to do a particular work, run errands or volunteer to get the job done simply means that you are not in control of your own life and time.
When you become busy with your own life, you will use your time to work towards your aim in life. That is when you start using words like:
"I wish I can do that for you this weekend but I have an examination coming up soon, and I will be studying this weekend" - This is the most brilliant NO you will get from a really smart person.
To Your Boss
Saying "no" to your boss can be tricky because you don't want to lose your job. But what if your boss is the type that gives an extra task after assigning you to several other tasks?
Communications expert Mat Apodaca's advise is the perfect way to say NO to your boss:
"I really appreciate you trusting for this project. Currently, I was planning on spending this week/month on projects X, Y, and Z. As I recall that you specifically said they were high priorities. If this current task can wait, I will be glad to take it on"
This response says two things:
"Do you want to take back the most important task for this new one or you want me to focus on the important tasks?"
Brilliant right?
In Your Personal Life
You don't have to be shy or try to be a good person all the time. JUST SAY NO when it is not convenient!
Look, no matter how good you try to be, you cannot satisfy everyone. So, set your boundaries.
In the end, having healthy relationships is all about setting appropriate boundaries.
The new year is right around the corner, why not make creating new, healthy boundaries part of your New Year resolutions?
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